God's Standard of Marriage

Today, I’m going to speak about God’s standard of marriage as revealed in creation and reinforced by the teaching of Jesus.

We’ll turn first to the teaching of Jesus, and we’ll find that this takes us back to God’s purpose in creation. Jesus’ standard of reference for what marriage should be was derived directly from the revelation of God’s purpose in creating the first human beings.

For a summary of the teaching of Jesus, I’m going to read a section from my book, Marriage Covenant. The essence of the teaching of Jesus on marriage is contained in a conversation he had with some Pharisees recorded in Matthew 19, verses 3 through 9:

“And some Pharisees came to him, testing him and saying, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?’ And He answered and said, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh”?’ Consequently they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

“They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate and divorce her?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.’”

We may sum up the teaching of Jesus in this passage in four successive statements. First, the form of marriage that had become accepted in Israel under Judaism was below the level of God’s will. Second, God’s real purpose for marriage was expressed when He originally created man and woman. Third, in the initial union of man and woman, they were so perfectly joined together that they lost their separate identities and became one flesh. Fourth, it is the purpose of Jesus to restore marriage in the lives of his disciples to the original standard revealed at creation.

That’s very important to see that when Jesus was questioned about marriage, he did not go back to the law of Moses, but he went back to the record of creation. Of course, this was in respect for his Father, God. He accepted only his Father’s original plan and standard for marriage as being fully valid.

So we need to look back at the record of creation in the opening chapters of Genesis to find out more exactly, and in detail, what was God’s purpose and God’s standard for marriage, bearing in mind that God has never changed. His purpose and his standard are still the same today as they were in creation. Man may have sought to lower the standard, but God has never changed. He still holds the same standards.

Let’s read now in Genesis chapter 2, beginning at verse 18. I want to bring out four extremely important facts. First of all, marriage was God’s decision, not Adam’s. Genesis 2:18:

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’”

It wasn’t Adam who thought of marriage or desired a helper. It was God who saw his need and determined to provide it, and provide it in his way.

The second fact: God formed Eve for Adam. Genesis chapter 2, verses 21 through 22:

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”

So the second fact there is that God formed Eve for Adam. Adam had nothing to do with that process. It was entirely God’s doing. God knew what kind of a helper Adam needed, and he took the responsibility of making exactly the right kind of helper for Adam.

The third fact is also contained in those verses that I’ve read. It is this, that God brought Eve to Adam. Adam didn’t go out looking for a wife. He didn’t search through the garden saying, “Where will I find my wife?” But God actually brought the appointed wife to Adam. We read that verse again:

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”

God brought Eve to Adam.

The fourth fact is that God established the terms of their relationship. This is stated in Genesis 2:24, and these words are words that were spoken by God himself:

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

The older translation says, “The man will leave his father and mother and will cleave to his wife.” First, there’s a leaving, then there’s a cleaving. That’s God’s appointed way. A man is released from all other commitments and relationships that would hinder his relationship with his wife. His relationship with his wife is to take precedence over every other relationship. He leaves, and then having left, he cleaves. A man who never really leaves can never really cleave.

In other words, God gives this relationship priority over all other relationships. The man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife, and the ultimate purpose is unity. “The two shall become one flesh.”