Dear friend,
Today we are going to look on a little further in First Corinthians chapter 13, in verses 4-6, where Paul paints a picture of love in action. And as we look in these verses, we see how love behaves – what it is like to demonstrate God’s love, what it is like when we meet it in others. These three verses make a series of successive statements about love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (NIV)
If you analyse these three verses, you’ll find that these verses contain fourteen statements which list fourteen characteristics of love. And if you analyse them further, you will find, interestingly enough, that seven of those characteristics are negative and seven are positive. There are seven things Paul says that love does not do, and there are seven things that he says love does do.
We’ll look first of all at the seven negative characteristics of love:
- First, love does not envy. It is not jealous. It does not see something that others have that it would want to use wrong means or wrong motives to acquire.
- Second, love does not boast or does not brag. Love isn’t always making grandiose statements about itself or about anything.
- Third, love is not proud or, alternatively, not arrogant. Love doesn’t look down on people. Love treats everybody as valuable, every person. Some people are very good to those whom they respect or those who are above them, but arrogant and proud to those below them. I discovered that in the British Army as a very lowly corporal. But love – true love – is the same viewed from any angle to anybody.
- Fourth, love is not rude or does not act unbecomingly. If you want to have really good manners, cultivate love. Good manners really are just love expressing itself.
- Fifth, love is not self-seeking. It does not seek its own. It does not say, "This is mine. I’ve got a right to it. I’m going to have it no matter what happens. You can’t have it."
- Sixth, love is not easily angered or not provoked. The moment we find anger rising up in ourselves and we begin to lose control of the way we speak to people and relate to people, we need to stop and remind ourselves, "That isn’t love operating in me." There is a kind of anger that is legitimate, but it’s an anger against unrighteousness. It’s not really an anger against people.
- Seventh, love keeps no record of wrongs. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. How dangerous it is to make a mental list of all the things that other people have done against us. So often in a marriage, husband or wife or both will keep a little list of all the respects in which the other partner to the marriage has failed. And their relationship is poisoned because of this list. "He didn’t bring me flowers on our anniversary. He went out and didn’t tell me that he wasn’t coming back in time for supper." They may be very trivial things, but they can completely spoil a relationship that should be one of love and peace and harmony. So if you’ve got a list, why don’t you tear it up right now and adjust that relationship.
If I were to sum up the seven negative features of love that I’ve just listed in one single statement, I would say, it was this – love is not insecure. Any person who acts contrary to those principles Paul lists is an insecure person. But love is totally secure.
For reflection and prayer
Love is something you do – or don’t do.
